Improving Relationships with Step-Children

When a step-parent comes into a family, children experience a myriad of emotions including guilt, resentment and even anger. These feelings can be particularly strong if the child has had little time to adjust to the idea of a new parent. But there are ways a step-parent can maintain a healthy relationship with their step-children while at the same time nurturing their couple relationship.

Maintain a realistic approach to your role. Do not try to replace the absent parent or replicate the role that they filled. Rather, be guided by what your step-child is comfortable with and let them decide what they should call you.
Build your own family memories through regular outings and activities. Encourage input from your step-children for these outings so that they feel included rather than being mere bystanders.
When it comes to discipline, work out a plan with your partner that you are both happy with. Typically, adolescent step-children do not respond well to being disciplined by a step-parent so it may be wise to allow the biological parent to take charge in this area - with your full support of course.
Try to find common interests with your step-child and make an effort to spend quality time with them. This will help to build a friendship and will also strengthen your adult/child relationship.
Be willing to adopt a mentor role. Sometimes older step-children enjoy having an adult around them who is not so emotionally involved in parenting. They may prefer discussing delicate issues with you rather than with their biological parent.
Your main priority should always be to protect and nurture your relationship with your partner. Sometimes too much time is devoted to fostering the step-parent/child relationship at the expense of the couple partnership. Looking after the couple relationship first will make all other issues easier to deal with.